Talk to me

Porn Face

“Feel it!”

“ARRRRRRGGGGHHHH… Yeeeaaaahhhhh”

“One more! One Moooooorrreee!!! You can do it!!!!”

If you saw the look on Mikes face you might think he was giving birth, or perhaps staring in a porn flick. In fact, he wasn’t. He was pressing 235 pounds. A new high for Mike.


Mike isn’t a pirate either. It’s a common occurance at gyms across the country f or men; regardless of the weight, to make almost pornstar like faces and grunt, groan, exhale loudly, and in Mike’s case, sound like a pirate, when lifting weights.

This phenominon is limited to free weights however. Those men that use the weight stack style machines seem to be immune to the affects that cause this condition.

Scientists aren’t sure if it’s the metal in the handles and bars of the free weights or perhaps the rubber covering of the weights themselves, but they’re convinced of one thing, there is a link to be found.

This phenominon can be found at any hour, but seems to spike in the afternoons around 4-6 pm and then again around 8-9pm. It’s unclear what causes these spikes, but it’s commonly believed that the concentration of attractive women and horny, lonely men, accelerates the chemical process that leads to

Porn Face

By John Wilker

I'm a science fiction writer and conference organizer. In 2017 I published my first book, 'Space Rogues', a fun Sci-Fi adventure with a fun cast of characters. I'm also the co-founder of 360|Conferences, a conference and event logistics consulting company.

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