The garage sale

Garage sale
A few months ago, when my (not yet) fiancÈ moved in it was decided that we needed to have a garage sale. Actually it was more; ìIî needed to have a garage sale. Old furniture and shit that I had been accumulating over the last 27 years, that really should have been thrown out or sold a looooooong time ago.
The added wrinkle to this plan was that (because Iím nice) I was storing a lot of the Exís crap. And I really mean crap. Old broke down Ikea sofa, loveseat, chair set, some heavy ass wrought iron bedroom set that served as my guest room, and a bunch of other misc. stuff.
So garage sale day arrives, Nicole and I get up at the cold ass butt crack of dawn to set up and get ready. Ex is supposed to arrive within a few hours of starting the sale in order to oversee the sale of her stuff. That didnít happen.
A few hours into the sale, things are moving better than expected, this older guy shows up, looks around.
ìHow much for this?î Holding up some whatchyamacallit that I no doubt paid good money for.
ìFive dollars.î
ìDo you have any chests of drawers?î
I look around me, knowing I have no chests of drawers. I look at him, I look all around the driveway, I look back at him.
ìHow about cameras? I need one of those kind that have a removable lenses.î
I look at him, he looks at me, I look around the driveway again, thinking to myself,
Let me go look in the back room, see what I have back there.
“Uh… no sorry, no cameras either.”
“Oh well, I was really looking for those.”
The day pretty much went like that most of the time. Garage’s sale suck that way.
Had some one interogate me about the Dish network DVR I was selling, Paid my bill, all current and such.
At the end of the day, we found someone’s car keys. How one loses car keys I can’t fathom. I did get a nice swiss army pocket knife though.
I sure hope they had duplicates.
By John Wilker

I'm a science fiction writer and conference organizer. In 2017 I published my first book, 'Space Rogues', a fun Sci-Fi adventure with a fun cast of characters. I'm also the co-founder of 360|Conferences, a conference and event logistics consulting company.

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