Bad programmer checklist

Saw this posted on CNET. Damien Katz has a checklist to see if you’re a bad programmer.

It’s rather funny, some of the items on it.

Having just come from Argent Mortgage, land of the "enterprise" app, the 7 servers per environment for a ColdFusion website.

  • "Enterprisey" isn’t a punchline to you.
  • This is serious stuff dammit. "Enterprise" is not just a word, it’s a philosophy, a way of life, a path to enlightenment. Anything that can be written, deployed or upgraded with minimal fuss is dismissed as a toy that won’t "scale" for future needs. Meanwhile most of the real work in your office is getting done by people sending around Excel spreadsheets as they wait for your grand enterprise visions to be built.

  • Java is all you’ll ever need.
  • You don’t see the need for other languages, why can’t everything be in Java? It doesn’t bother you at all to see Python or Ruby code that accomplishes in 10 lines what takes several pages in Java. Besides, you’re convinced new language features in the next release will fix all that anyway.(BTW, this can be almost any language, but right now the Java community seems most afflicted with this thinking)

There are a few others on the list but those two made me giggle knowingly "Ah yeah, just like so and so."

Thought I’d share these

By John Wilker

I'm a science fiction writer and conference organizer. In 2017 I published my first book, 'Space Rogues', a fun Sci-Fi adventure with a fun cast of characters. I'm also the co-founder of 360|Conferences, a conference and event logistics consulting company.

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